The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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