She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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