why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
