ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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