What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
