awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
