Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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