Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
