just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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