He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize