I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
