so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
