shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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