I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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