my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
