I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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