No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
