We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
