Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
