Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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