lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
