I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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