Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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