that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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