It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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