In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize