i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
