OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
