I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
