I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
This toilet bowl is my home.
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