She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
