Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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