I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
