My liver just broke up with me...
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
