Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
