Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
