Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
