no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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