Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
