the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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