I can't breathe out the right side of my face
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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