almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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