Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
