He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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