well you can't waste a boner
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
