Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
