Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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