fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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