Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
