did you get engaged???
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
