Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think I died a long time ago.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
