Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
