In the future we'll all be gay
My nipple is on Facebook.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
