You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
