the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
my poor anus
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
