The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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