Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
