Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
