I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
