just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
my poor anus
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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