I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
