thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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