I am puke
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
