she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
